Growing up without a father

without a father

Growing up without a father

This week I found myself talking with some of my clients about growing up with inadequate parents. It astounded me to hear how many individuals have been disappointed by their parents. Feelings of rejection and words such as unloved had frequent mentions in the discussions.

On Saturday morning I embraced my fifteen minutes of solitude before the morning rush of sport activities and driving commitments began. This brief peaceful morning period was just enough time to read an article in the newspaper about screen icon Sophia Lauren, and her childhood memories. In the article, she is being asked; “at what point did she decide that her father was a useless human being?” She responds by explaining: “When you are 5, 6, 7, you follow what your mother tells you because you want to make peace. You want the normality, which we didn’t have. My father always would come to see me when my mother sent him a telegraph saying, ‘Sophia is very sick. Come’. It didn’t matter why he came. What I always wanted, because all my friends had one, was a father. I wanted to be like them, to be normal…but this was impossible. So you see these things when you’re 13, 14, when you’ve almost grown up. You see it for what it is.

This is very true, we do see our parents for who they are, but even after countless years of maturing and accepting, we still carry the pain and the rejection. Even though we decided we don’t care, the pain is still there. It lives inside the unfulfilled expectation of a parent who failed us. This pain is analogous to the pain we feel when we grieve for someone. Here we grieve for our unmet expectations, and the disappointments that are characterized by rejection, absence, abandonment, and a multitude of unanswered questions as to why. Why this parent chose a pathway that didn’t fit into Sophia Lauren’s childhood conception of ‘normal’.

However, every individual’s experience differs in how and why they categorized a parent as inadequate. Therefore one client’s journey to separate this pain from their daily life will take a different pathway to the next. Taking part in art therapy helps clients to pay attention to themselves and their lives, tapping into their own wisdom rather than looking for answers from the outside world. In art therapy the client attempts to put the past behind him or her and have the option to imagine their life as they would like it to be in the present moment. The process of art connects a person to their feelings, and the expression comes from a deeper level than the mind.

 So trust yourself, create and practice mindfulness!

Useful links:

Mindfully Yours

Dalit Bar

The purpose and benefits of the Art Therapy Group

art-therapy-brushsHello everyone!

A few words about the purpose and benefits of the Art Therapy Group:

 Purpose of Art Therapy Group:

Art therapy supports our process when words are not enough. I facilitate Art Therapy workshops where the participants have the opportunity to engage with their feelings and emotions associated with depression and anxiety, as well as raising their self-esteem and wellbeing.

The benefits of the Art Therapy Group:

Clients are exposed to other individuals that may share similar issues and concerns. The group environment acts as a time to share these issues and to feel connected rather than isolated. By using various art materials and theme exercises weekly, it helps raise awareness and therefore allows people to make new choices in their lives.

We spend most of our days living and operating with our “heads”. Joining an Art Therapy counseling group gives you a chance to connect to your feelings and create art from your heart. It is a special time for you, where you can look after yourself and can explore personal issues in a safe place. The more aligned you are with yourself, the easier it is for you to be creative and to manifest your heart desires. To find deeper meaning in life, we need to be aware of negative beliefs and replace them with positive supportive ones. An Art Therapy counseling group can offer this replacement of positive support and aid in the journey of meaningful life pursuits.

Mindfully yours

Dalit Bar

Exploring The Double Lives Of Everyday People Living With Mental Illness

“Whenever I was depressed, I always felt like I had two separate lives,” photographer Liz Obert explained to The Huffington Post. “One that people saw everyday and the one that could barely get out of bed in the morning. For years I struggled with how to make this into art.”

Through “Dualities,” Obert seems to have found an answer to her problem. The photographic series showcases two types of portraits. One shows her subjects as they’d prefer to be seen, gleefully dressed in formal wear or leisurely playing a guitar. The second shows the individuals as they appear in a state of depression, holed up in an apartment or hidden behind a pair of deafening speakers. Beneath each image is a handwritten caption detailing the experiences of each state of mind. “The result is two images of each person, one up and one down,” Obert proclaims.

Full article here

Believe in your self!

Believe in yourself and everyone else will follow!

Collage paintingBELIEVE

Kid therapy: Mixing seniors and youthful energy

Kid therapy: Mixing seniors and youthful energy

Kid therapy: Mixing seniors and youthful energy

Navan Al-Mamun, 6, and Irene Garry, 85, worked on coloring in Art Across the Ages, an Intergenerational art class with seniors and kids at The Commons on Marice in Eagan. It’s a bonding experience which helps children learn about the aging process.



Art Therapy helps people with disabilities

Inspiring Story of an Art Therapy Program Helping People With Disabilities

Watch this inspiring video about an art therapy program in Fort Lauderale, Florida helping people with disabilities communicate and express themselves in new ways.